The £102 million Wake-Up Call: What Romance Scam Victims Wish They'd Done First.

Romance Scams. Catfishing. Fraud.

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There's often a particular kind of silence that follows a romance scam. It isn't just the silence of a bank balance that's suddenly, inexplicably empty. It's the silence of a relationship, sometimes months in the making, that simply stops answering the phone. No goodbye, no explanation, just a blocked number and a person who, it turns out, never really existed at all.

New figures released from the City of London Police show just how common that silence has become. UK victims lost more than £102 million to romance fraud last year, with over 10,700 reports made to Action Fraud, a 29% jump on the year before. That equates 27 cases per day. I find that quite staggering, and they are only the cases reported. The average loss per victim was said to be £9,500. In the most severe cases, individuals lost as much as £1 million. And the people losing the most money, according to police, are aged between 55 and 74, accounting for almost half of everything stolen. Those aren't abstract numbers. They represent tens of thousands of ordinary people, recently divorced, recently widowed, or simply lonely, who believed they'd found someone real. By the time most of them realised otherwise, the money, and often the sense of trust that made them who they were, had already gone.

Here at Anderson & Co Surveillance and Private Investigators Ltd, we see the aftermath of these cases more often than we'd like. Almost every single client says some version of the same thing: "I wish I'd checked sooner” or “I wish I'd trusted my gut instinct”.

This blog is about what "checking sooner" actually looks like and why, for a growing number of people, a private investigator in the UK has become a normal, sensible step in a new relationship (whether that be personal or business) rather than a last resort.

How Romance Fraud Actually Works

Romance scams rarely feel like scams while they're happening. That's precisely the point. The criminals behind them, often, but not always operating as part of organised, transnational fraud networks rather than lone opportunists have refined a playbook that plays out over weeks or months, not days.

It typically starts on a dating app or social media platform, where a profile is built using stolen or AI-generated photographs. Conversation moves quickly from the platform itself to WhatsApp, Telegram, or text, where there's less moderation and more privacy.

We have noticed a huge rise in the use of artificial intelligence throughout this stage more recently: not just for profile pictures, but for message drafting, voice notes, and even video calls using deepfake technology, all designed to make the fabricated person feel increasingly real and increasingly present.

Then comes the "love bombing", an intense, fast-moving expression of affection and commitment, often within days or weeks of first contact. It feels amazing and flattering. It's designed to. The emotional intensity is precisely what short-circuits the usual healthy scepticism most people would apply to a stranger.

Only once real trust has been established does the all important first "ask" arrive and it's rarely presented as a simple request for cash. It might be framed as a medical emergency, a stranded relative, a business opportunity, or increasingly, an invitation to invest in cryptocurrency alongside the "partner," who conveniently has inside knowledge of a can't-miss opportunity.

Investment-related romance fraud has become one of the fastest-growing variants precisely because it doesn't feel like being asked for a handout, it feels like being let in on a big, lucrative secret. A consistent thread runs through nearly every case: the excuses for never meeting in person, or never appearing on a live video call. A conveniently broken camera. A job that involves constant overseas travel. A visa issue. A family crisis that always seems to arise right when a meeting is proposed. Individually, any one of these might be innocent. Together, over time, they form a concerning pattern and should not be ignored.

Why This Is Accelerating Now:

Three things have converged to make 2026 a particularly dangerous year for romance fraud.

The first is simply the growth of online dating itself. Meeting people through apps and social platforms has become the default, not the exception, and criminals go where the volume of potential victims is highest.

The second is Ai - artificial intelligence. Where a scammer once had to maintain a single stolen photograph and hope nobody reverse-image-searched it, they can now generate an entire consistent identity, with endless photos, a convincing voice and even video, that's far harder for an ordinary person to unravel using a free online tool or app. Cybersecurity researchers have specifically flagged the rise of what's being called "emotionally engineered" fraud: attacks that combine technical sophistication with a deep, deliberate exploitation of loneliness and trust.

The third is the money itself. Cryptocurrency has given fraudsters a way to move stolen funds quickly, across borders, with far less traceability than a conventional bank transfer — and UK authorities have already taken action against at least one major

offshore crypto marketplace linked to large-scale fraud enablement. For victims, that means recovery becomes dramatically harder once funds have left a UK bank account.

The Cost Isn't Only Financial

It would be a mistake to treat this purely as a financial crime story. Recently, Detective Superintendent Oliver Little of

the City of London Police put it plainly: romance fraud is particularly harmful because it targets trust and emotional connection directly. The criminal doesn't just take money, they manufacture a relationship, sustain it convincingly for many months, and in some cases years, and then vanish the moment it's no longer useful to them. Usually once they have bled their victim completely dry, or their victim becomes suspicious of them.

Clients who come to us after the fact often describe a compounded grief: the loss of savings, yes, but also the loss of an intense relationship that felt genuine, and perhaps hardest of all the embarrassment of having been deceived in such a way. That embarrassment is precisely why so many cases go unreported, or are only reported

long after the fact, once a friend or family member finally raises the alarm. If all cases were reported, we suspect that the quoted “£102 million” may be more like "£120 million", or potentially even more.

This is also why we'd gently push back on any suggestion that victims are careless or naive. Often client's, who have become victims, that we deal with are, successful individuals. They are often business owners, or those holding responsible, managerial positions. Let's face it, the victims need to have money and therefore only these types are of interest to the fraudsters. These scams are run by organised groups who do this full-time, refine their methods constantly and specifically target moments of vulnerability, after a bereavement, a divorce, or a period of isolation. The sophistication of the deception says far more about the criminals than it does about the nature and intelligence of the person on the other end of it.

Where a UK Private Investigator Fits In

This is the part most people don't think about until it's too late: verifying someone's identity and background before trust and money are exchanged is entirely possible, and it doesn't require confronting anyone or accusing them of anything. It simply requires knowing how to look properly. A basic reverse image search, which most people already know to try, catches only the least sophisticated scammers, the ones still using an easily searchable stolen photo. It does nothing against a fabricated identity built on AI-generated images, nothing against a real name attached to a false history, and nothing against someone who genuinely exists but has quietly left out a criminal record, an undisclosed marriage, or a string of previous targets.

This is where professional due diligence goes further than anything available to the public for free:

Identity verification:

Confirming that a person is who they claim to be. The name, age, and photographs are genuinely theirs, and that the life

story being told holds together under scrutiny.

Background and record checks:

Establishing whether someone has a relevant criminal history, undisclosed county court judgments, bankruptcy, or a pattern of financial difficulty that might explain an unusual eagerness to discuss investment "opportunities."

Marital and relationship status checks:

A significant proportion of romance fraud, and a significant proportion of the emotional damage caused by it — involves someone who isn't single at all. Confirming marital status is often one of the simplest and most revealing checks we run.

Employment and business verification.

Many scammers construct an entire fictional career: a business that doesn't exist, a job title that doesn't check out, an

overseas posting that conveniently explains away every excuse not to meet. We verify whether any of it is real.

Digital footprint analysis.

Tracing whether photographs, biographical details, or writing style have appeared elsewhere online under a different

name — a strong indicator of a stolen or fabricated identity.

Location and movement verification, where appropriate.

For relationships that have progressed further, and where there's a genuine, proportionate reason to do so, physical due-diligence can confirm whether a person's claimed circumstances match reality. None of this requires the other person to ever know it happened. It's discreet by design, and critically, it isn't only for people who already suspect something is wrong — increasingly, it's a step people take simply because a relationship is becoming serious, money or cohabitation is being discussed, and they'd rather have certainty than assume it.

When to Consider Getting Someone Checked

There's no single moment that makes hiring a Private Investigator appropriate but certain patterns should prompt it. In our experience, the cases that later turn out to be fraudulent, share a recognisable set of warning signs, and any combination of the following is worth taking seriously:

The relationship has moved unusually fast. It has become intense, with declarations of love or commitment arriving within days or weeks.

There's a persistent, ever-shifting reason why an in-person meeting or a live video call can't happen. The person claims to live or work overseas, or travels constantly for reasons that are difficult to verify independently. Usually getting in the way of any plan to meet, often having to cancel last minute because of these commitments.

Money, investment opportunities, or cryptocurrency have come up in conversation, even indirectly. A "crisis" has emerged — medical, legal, or financial, that conveniently requires financial help. Something about their photos, their stated job, or their story simply doesn't sit right, even if you can't articulate exactly why. Friends or family have expressed concern, even if it's caused friction.

If two or more of these are present, it's worth having someone verified properly, ideally before any money changes hands, but at any stage if it hasn't happened yet.

What to Do If You're Already Worried

If you're reading this because something already feels wrong, the most useful thing you can do first is stop sending money and avoid confronting the person directly. Confrontation often triggers an immediate disappearance, or cover up, which can close off avenues, both for verification and for any subsequent fraud report before they've been properly explored.

From there:

1. Get an independent verification done. A professional check with an established Private Investigator can often resolve the question definitively, one way or the other, within days.

2. Preserve everything. Messages, photographs,

payment records, and any names or details you've

been given are all potentially useful, both for

verification and for any fraud report that follows.

3. Report it if fraud is confirmed. UK victims can

report to Report Fraud at reportfraud.police.uk or

by calling 0300 123 2040. In Scotland, reports go

to Police Scotland via 101. If money has already

been sent, contact your bank immediately — the

earlier a transfer is flagged, the better the chance

you have of any recovery.

4. Talk to someone. The emotional impact of

discovering a relationship was fabricated is real

and significant, and it deserves the same

seriousness as the financial loss.

A Sensible Step, Not a Sign of Distrust

There's still a lingering perception that hiring a private investigator to check on a partner is somehow an extreme measure, the sort of thing reserved for suspected infidelity or acrimonious divorces. That perception is increasingly out of step with reality.

When over ten thousand people a year are reporting romance fraud in the UK alone, and losses average close to £10,000 per victim, a modest, discreet verification check early in a relationship isn't paranoia. In fact we would argue, such is the world that we live in, it's the right and proper thing to do, in order to protect yourself.

It's simply due diligence, no different in principle from checking a reference before a big financial decision, or having a survey done before buying a house. Clients that we speak to after they've lost money almost never describe themselves as having been careless. They describe someone who was patient, convincing, and until the moment it mattered, entirely believable. That's not a failure of judgement. It's the entire design of the carefully planned and well executed crime.

Our Thoughts

Our view, after many years of conducting romance fraud and catfishing related investigations:

The best time to involve a Private investigator isn't after the money is gone. It's in the weeks when trust is being built, when a story is still being told, and when a few quiet, professional checks can either put your mind completely at ease or save you from becoming one of next year's statistics.

If something about a relationship isn't sitting right, or if you'd simply rather know for certain before it goes any further, we here at Anderson & Co Surveillance and Private Investigators Ltd can carry out discreet, professional verification checks on your behalf, anywhere in the UK and internationally.

Sample reports provided on request. See what our work entails and how we present the data.

Do get in touch if you require more information - And remember if something doesn't feel right, it normally isn't!

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